Cheers and Jeers: Time Warp Thursday

Word: Within the pursuits of world peace, C&J will probably be off tomorrow in order that we could spend some high quality time drunk within the gutter. We’ll return Monday for one more 12 months of homespun mediocrity delivered from a wingback chair beneath the Monet within the drawing room. We want you and yorn a protected and joyful New 12 months’s vacation. Don’t overlook to feed the cat.  —Mgt.

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C&J Remembers the Obama-Biden Administration’s First 12 months

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With his family by his side, Barack Obama is sworn in as the 44th president of the United States by Chief Justice of the United States John G. Roberts Jr. in Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009.  More than 5,000 men and women in uniform are providing military ceremonial support to the presidential inauguration, a tradition dating back to George Washington's 1789 inauguration.  (DoD photo by Master Sgt. Cecilio Ricardo, U.S. Air Force/Released).
January 20, 2009

January: Throughout his first 100 hours in workplace, President Obama places in movement an finish to the Iraq Warfare, re-legitimizes contraception to scale back undesirable pregnancies and the unfold of illness, strikes concern within the hearts in our enemies and euphoria within the hearts of our allies, takes science off the Bush terror watch checklist, restricts the attain of lobbyists, and offers the nation a brand new sense of hope, mission, and id. After Obama takes the oath, now-“former” president Bush boards a helicopter and flies again to the one state the place he feels welcome: denial.

“Shortly after his inauguration, Obama spoke on the cellphone to the chief of the Palestinians and the chief of the Israelis. Each males began their name by asking Obama, ‘Hey, what was the take care of Aretha Franklin’s hat?”
—Conan O’Brien

January: hope and alter return to the White Home after the Bush catastrophe.

February: President Obama indicators an enlargement of the State Youngsters’s Well being Insurance coverage Program (CHIP)—which Bush had vetoed—into regulation. He additionally makes historical past by being the primary black president to deal with a joint session of Congress, providing a sober evaluation of the best way issues are and easy methods to rebound (duct tape and $20 trillion in unmarked payments).  The response: 67 outbursts of applause and 37 standing ovations.  Additionally, for the primary time ever throughout a presidential speech, the Supreme Courtroom justices begin a wave.  A number of accidents are reported.

“I hereby appoint myself the president’s Inform-Individuals-The place-to-Go-and-What-to-Kiss Czar. Fox Information, if you’d like an unique: pucker up!”

—Wanda Sykes

March: First Woman Michelle Obama and a gaggle of youngsters flip over sod on the south garden and plant greens within the new White Home “kitchen backyard.”  They might’ve used the north garden however they stored operating into the our bodies of Nixon’s enemies.

April: Joe and his boss heading again to the Oval Workplace to handle enterprise.

April: The Obamas welcome a rambunctious new puppy.  Newt Gingrich provides his magic contact to the second, saying: “I believe that this complete factor is pretty silly.”  Primarily as a result of he is aware of they will not be kicking it.

Might: President Obama creates an uproar when he orders a cheeseburger with “Dijon mustard.”  The Senate Culinary Committee hearings are brutal and he barely escapes impeachment.

May 2009 – Jacob ­Philadelphia asked Obama if his hair was like his, so the most powerful man in the world bowed to a child. The boy had told Obama: “I want to know if my hair is just like yours.” The president had replied: “Touch it, dude!”
Might: After Jacob ­Philadelphia asks President Obama if his hair was like his, Obama replies: “Contact it, dude.”

June: Speaking in Egypt, President Obama threads a needle and offers the Center East a pep speak through which he promotes respect for non secular range, girls’s rights, peaceable co-existence, political freedom, nuclear disarmament, and preventing terrorism. However much more spectacular, he accomplishes one factor that historians contemplate a excessive level within the first 12 months of his presidency: knocking Joe Scarborough off the TV for a complete hour.

Touring earthquake damage during the G8 summit in L’Aquila, Italy, July 8, 2009.
July: Touring earthquake harm in the course of the G8 summit in L’Aquila, Italy.

July: President Obama has a beautiful assembly with the Pope in Vatican Metropolis.  The 2 change presents (a e book on bioethics for Obama; DVDs of Sister Act and Sister Act 2 for Benedict), after which go to the Vatican cafeteria the place they search for Virgin Marys within the grilled cheese sandwiches.

August: Diabetics throughout America have fun because the Senate approves the nomination of certainly one of their very own, Sonia Sotomayor, as the subsequent Affiliate Justice of the Supreme Courtroom.  Hispanics are considerably jazzed about it, too.

“Rush and his ilk have give you a reputation for the primary Hispanic on the Supreme Courtroom that is been 99 p.c white males for 200 years, and that identify is ‘reverse racist.’ Sonia Sotomayor is a racist and somebody has to cease her as a result of for too lengthy white males have been stored down by highly effective Puerto Rican girls!” 
—Invoice Maher, 2009

September: The federal government reviews that family earnings elevated by two-trillion {dollars} within the second quarter of 2009.  Sadly all of it goes to 1 family—the Gladys Higginbotham residence in Dubuque.  Economists agree: that was one helluva scratch ticket.

President Barack Obama talks with Justice Sotomayor prior to her Investiture Ceremony at the Supreme Court September 8, 2009.  (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)  This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.
September: President Obama talks with Sonia Sotomayor previous to her investiture ceremony on the Supreme Courtroom. That’s President-elect Biden behind him speaking with RBG.

October: After President Obama wakes the EPA from its eight-year slumber and offers it an opportunity to wipe the pixie mud from its eyes, the company publicizes it is taking steps to manage emissions from energy vegetation, factories and refineries; denies 79 allow purposes for mountaintop-removal coal mining, citing the Clear water Act; and launches a sweeping overhaul of the Poisonous Substances Management Act of 1976.  However they promise to work even tougher on day two.

November: Democrats abruptly uncover there is a midterm election arising, and announce their intention to create an enormous jobs invoice to assist knock down the 10.2% unemployment price.  Among the many anticipated nationwide tasks: roads, bridges, colleges, hospitals, and President Obama’s long-sought U.S.-Kenya Chunnel.

President Obama in Oslo, accepting his Nobel Peace Prize: I am residing testimony to the ethical drive of non-violence…the creed and lives of Gandhi and King. However as a head of state, sworn to guard and defend my nation, I can’t be guided by their examples alone. … Our problem is reconciling these two seemingly irreconcilable truths—we are able to perceive that there will probably be warfare and nonetheless attempt for peace.
Jon Stewart:  Unghh!!  Obama forcing us to reside in an space between absolutes. BRAIN HURTS! COMPLICATED!!!
—The Every day Present

December: Lower than 24 hours after President Obama holds a “Jobs Summit,” the unemployment price falls two-tenths of a p.c.  The White Home is so excited by its success that they instantly schedule a Jobs Convention, Jobs Roundtable, Jobs Gaggle, Jobs Bazaar, Jobs Meet-Up, Jobs Huddle, Jobs Amish Barn-raising, Jobs Flash Mob, and Jobs Canasta Event in Joe Biden’s Dwelling Room. 

And yet one more…

Actual presidents get vaccinated:

A White Home nurse prepares to manage the H1N1 vaccine to President Obama on the White Home on Sunday, Dec. 20, 2009.

Comfortable New 12 months! See you Monday morning. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about at present?

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