Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

Check out that historic picture. My query is one which struck me over the weekend: when was the final time Republicans had a possibility like that to rejoice landmark, non-national-emergency-related laws they’d crafted and signed into legislation particularly to learn Individuals who weren’t born with silver spoons of their mouths?

Beats me.

I do hope Democrats within the Senate scrap the filibuster. Within the span of two years, we may have historic images just like the one above for, off the highest of my head: immigration reform, voting rights, gun management, LGBTQ rights, ACA Half 2, infrastructure, local weather change, plus the addition of DC and Puerto Rico as states. That will ship a helluva message to America, as soon as and for all, as to what Democrats stand for.

Oh, and if there’s time: taco vans on each nook.

And now, our characteristic presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Notice: I am advised that simply trying on the phrase “calm” has an automated calming impact in your cardiovascular and stress-response system. We propose you have a look at it for no less than thirty minutes a day and really feel its therapeutic energy movement via you in a delicate cascade of serenity. Or else you will be arrested.  —Mgt.

By the Numbers:

Earth Day graphic generic
30 days!!!

Days ’til Days ’til the 51st Earth Day: 30

Days ’til everybody 50 and older is eligible for the vaccine in Maine: 0!

President Biden’s approval ranking within the newest Ipsos ballot, up from 54% the earlier week: 59%

Minimal variety of Republican terrorists who’ve been charged within the Jan. 6 riot: 400

P.c of Individuals polled by Quinnipiac who consider undocumented immigrants who have been dropped at the U.S. as youngsters ought to be capable to stay right here and finally apply for citizenship: 83%

Tons of area junk in our ambiance, equal to 720 college buses: 9,000

Enhance in gross sales at L.L. Bean final 12 months, fueled by a web based surge in the course of the pandemic: 5%

Pet Pic of the Day: Happy National Puppy Day

CHEERS to rolling up the traitors and tossing ’em within the hoosegow. Me to the feds: “The insurrectionists who adopted Donald Trump’s orders to storm the Capitol are traitors—roll ’em up, boys!” Feds to me: “Yeah, proper, like we’re gonna take our marching orders from a blogger. Sit down and shut u….oh, wait, yeah, you do have a point.” Ha ha ha, I win:

Proof collected by investigators probing the Jan. 6 riot on the U.S. Capitol is “trending in the direction of” sedition prices, a high federal prosecutor who led the Justice Division’s probe into the lethal riot mentioned Sunday. […]

WASHINGTON, DC - JANUARY 06: A protester screams "Freedom" inside the Senate chamber after the U.S. Capitol was breached by a mob during a joint session of Congress on January 06, 2021 in Washington, DC. Congress held a joint session today to ratify President-elect Joe Biden's 306-232 Electoral College win over President Donald Trump. A group of Republican senators said they would reject the Electoral College votes of several states unless Congress appointed a commission to audit the election results. Pro-Trump protesters entered the U.S. Capitol building during demonstrations in the nation's capital.  (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Trying ahead to the day he’s sharing “constructive vibes” along with his cellmate “Tiny.”

Michael Sherwin, who till Friday served because the lead investigator within the DOJ’s investigation, was requested straight by “60 Minutes” host Scott Pelley if the general public ought to anticipate sedition prices―for conspiracy to overthrow the federal government―in opposition to some suspects within the coming weeks as investigations proceed.

“I personally consider the proof is trending in the direction of that, and possibly meets these parts,” Sherwin mentioned. “I consider the information do assist these prices. And I believe that, as we go ahead, extra information will assist that.”

If convicted, they may get 20 years in jail. Or because it’s additionally recognized: 19 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds longer than the man they tried to put in for a second time period will care.

JEERS to a different week on Planet Covid. The excellent news: the vaccine produced by Oxford-AstraZeneca is apparently 79 percent effective, giving of us around the globe a brand new approach to shield themselves. The dangerous information: Europe is again in lockdown, Brazil’s nutso chief is letting issues spiral uncontrolled, nobody can go to the Olympics this summer time, and right here within the U.S. white anti-vaxxer males are main the cost to maintain the pandemic in full flower, rattling them. So…we proceed our weekly custom of monitoring the numbers for the historic file, courtesy of the tote board of woe. Worldwide now: over 124 million circumstances, and our home dying toll almost equals the inhabitants of America’s 32nd-largest metropolis Albuquerque, New Mexico:

6 months in the past: 7 million confirmed circumstances. 204,000 deaths

three months in the past: 18 million confirmed circumstances. 325,000 deaths

1 month in the past: 29 million confirmed circumstances. 508,000 deaths

This morning: 31 million confirmed circumstances. 555,000 deaths

Regardless of one of the best efforts of the naysayers and covidiots (Hi, Miami spring breakers! Can I’ve your limited-edition Cardi B earbuds after you drown in your personal lung fluid?), the Biden administration blew previous its promise of 100-million vaccine doses in 100 days, beating the deadline by 42 days. Or because the media reported that incredible accomplishment: Disaster At The Border!!!

JEERS to self-righteous knuckledragging. 383 years in the past this week, in 1638, progressive preacher Anne Hutchinson was booted from the Massachusetts Bay Colony by the Puritan management after being accused of “Blasphemy!” and “Lewd conduct!” At present the RNC will unveil a statue to commemorate the occasion. In honor of the Puritans.



CHEERS to #51. D.C. statehood was in the spotlight yesterday throughout a listening to in entrance of the Home Oversight and Reform Committee. Enjoyable information: D.C.’s inhabitants is 713,000, and it will get zero senators. Wyoming‘s inhabitants is 582,000 and Vermont‘s inhabitants is 623,000, and so they each get two senators. One other enjoyable truth:

Many GOP lawmakers have expressed opposition to D.C. statehood on condition that any congressional illustration would virtually actually be Democratic.

Excellent. Let’s do it.

CHEERS to Sergeant Rubberbutt. On March 23, 1944, RAF Sgt. Nickolas Alkemade survived a leap from his Lancaster bomber from 18,000 ft with out a parachute.  Apart from some cuts and a twisted knee, he was fine.  The Nazi he landed on? Not so advantageous.

Ten years in the past in C&J: March 23, 2011

JEERS to not even attempting to cross the snicker check.  Do you know that President Obama has been “on trip” in South America?  Yeah, neither did I.  I coulda swore he was down there to try to gin up some jobs for us right here in our little banana republic—lots of which might little question go to middle-class Republicans.  So it is simply f*cked up past perception that the conservative megalomegaphoners, led by Fox Information’s Sean Hannity, Eric Bolling and Steve Doocy, could be trotting out that crap. For the file, Obama is coordinating the Libya no-fly zone with our allies, staying up on the Japan disaster, assembly with aides on home points, monitoring the state of affairs in different Arab nations, concurrently monitoring his NCAA brackets and penguin migration patterns in Antarctica, devoting time to his household, and chewing gum on the identical time.  If I have been a conservative coming off eight years of Bush/Cheney, I suppose I would be jealous, too.

And only one extra…

JEERS to helpful how-not-to demonstrations. Oh no! You have simply shaken arms with somebody in direct violation of mandated pandemic protocols. What is going to you do, what WILL you do??? First, don’t panic. Second, calmly—I mentioned calmly!!!—discover the ex-president nearest you and wipe your hand on his shirt. Right here, let George W. Bush present you the correct process:

Hooray. You dodged a bullet. Bonus tip: if you end up beginning a battle based mostly on lies that finally ends up killing or injuring one million folks and plopping a number of trillion {dollars} on the nation’s bank card, take up portray within the bathtub. You may discover it a soothing diversion from these craaaaazy occasions. Good luck and keep robust.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about right now?

At present’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

Cheers and Jeers is again!”

President Biden

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