Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Be aware: I don’t know what you probably did to piss off the gays, feminists, and pagans, east coast, however rattling:

By the Numbers:

Electors licensed in 21 days!!!

Days ’til the electoral votes are licensed in Congress: 21

Days ’til inauguration day: 35

P.c of Individuals who’re glad with what they pay for well being care, based on Gallup, up from 58% a decade in the past: 67%

P.c of the 782 LGBTQ candidates who entered the 2020 common election and received their races: 43%

P.c by which Covid deaths rose in counties with the most important faculty pupil populations since August, although most occurred amongst older group members, based on The New York Occasions: 100%

P.c rise in Covid deaths in the remainder of the nation: 58%

Age of spy novelist John le Carré and nation star Charley Satisfaction after they died final week: 89, 86

Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (together with 5 plagues and the gravest sin Newsmax ever committed). Soul Safety Issue 24 lotion is advisable in case you’ll be strolling amongst the heathen as we speak.

Pet Pic of the Day: Okay, you’re hired…

CHEERS to well timed departures. Legal professional Common Invoice Barr, whose dedication to making use of equal justice below the legislation is absolute so long as you put on a crimson hat or orange face make-up, is lastly going bye-bye. After 22 months of gleefully weaponizing the Justice Division on behalf of 1 man—you understand who—Barr made a crucial mistake that his boss merely couldn’t abide: he unintentionally instructed the reality in regards to the accuracy of the 2020 election outcomes. For the C&J time capsule, his greatest hits via CNN:

In his most infamous transfer, Barr delivered a deceptive abstract of particular counsel Robert Mueller’s report, primarily clearing Trump within the Russia probe, which drew a pointy rebuke from Mueller himself. […]

True truth: extra mattress tags had been illegally eliminated below the nostril of Invoice Barr than every other legal professional common. And he sat there and did nothing. Nothing.

The legal professional common echoed the President’s anger at coronavirus lockdowns, calling them, aside from slavery, “the best intrusion on civil liberties in American historical past.” Barr additionally requested for the Justice Division to take over the President’s protection in a defamation lawsuit filed towards him by Jean E. Carroll, who accused him of sexual assault.

[I]n June, Barr ordered authorities to disperse a big crowd of peaceable protesters close to the White Home so Trump might stroll to the close by historic St. John’s Church, the place a fireplace had been set within the basement the earlier evening throughout unrest sparked by the police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

Barr and his jowls will slouch again to the personal sector on Festivus below the guise of desirous to spend extra time along with his household. His household plans to attraction the choice.

CHEERS to Billeh’s Miracle Life Classes, Half 45. In our persevering with sequence, which we’re beginning simply now, we provide this useful truism to ponder over your morning mimosa(s): Life Comes At You Quick.  We made a be aware to revisit this information merchandise from October, 2019, and as we speak we’re making good on it. The exalted Magic 8-Ball shakers at Moody’s Analytics caught their thumbs below their designer suspenders and emerged from below their inexperienced eyeshades two years in the past to give Trump the green light for a second term. To their credit score, they properly added a small caveat:

President Donald Trump seems more likely to cruise to reelection subsequent yr below three totally different financial fashions Moody’s Analytics employed to gauge the 2020 race.

Barring something uncommon occurring, the president’s Electoral School victory might simply surpass his 2016 win over Democrat Hillary Clinton, which got here by a 304-227 rely.

Moody’s FAIL.

Moody’s based mostly its projections on how customers really feel about their very own monetary scenario, the good points the inventory market has achieved throughout Trump’s tenure and the prospects for unemployment, which has fallen to a 50-year low. Ought to these variables maintain up, the president seems set to get one other four-year time period.

Which brings us to Billeh’s Miracle Life Lesson, Half 46: In Trump World, Variables Are Now A part of the Deep State.

CHEERS to civil disobedience…with pinky prolonged. Remember to throw just a few luggage of Earl Gray into the closest physique of water as we speak, the 247th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. That was the day in 1773 when rebellious colonists dumped just a few hundred chests of tea into Boston Harbor, an act of defiance towards the British Crown for imposing taxation with out illustration. Which is strictly what the trendy day “tea social gathering”—now the Trump Celebration—is all about, plus racism, birtherism, secessionism, misogyny, Islamophobia, homophobia, and making the wealthy as comfy as doable…however minus the taxation with out illustration half since they do have taxation with illustration. And for these of you represented by Louie Gohmert, we’ve only one factor to say: ideas and prayers.



JEERS to working out of time.  Just a bit reminder that in case you have a versatile spending account as a part of your medical insurance plan, it is possible that you will lose whatever money you have socked away in case you don’t spend it inside the subsequent 15 days. Some issues which might be normally eligible: contraception, smoking cessation, chilly treatments (NyQuil: humankind’s best reward to itself), contact lens resolution…stuff like that.  But when your remaining stability is sizable sufficient, we would advise you to purchase one thing that’ll ship essentially the most bang in your pre-tax buck: senators.

CHEERS to 56 years of proudly waving, eh.  On December 15, 1964, “after six months of debate and 308 speeches, handed by a majority vote within the Home of Commons,” Canada adopted the maple leaf flag:

Canadian flag
Every of the recommendations on the leaf symbolize beer. The crimson and white colours signify…um…additionally beer.

We’re undecided what the right reward is for a flag on its birthday, so we defaulted to the same old: a pair of socks.

Ten years in the past in C&J: December 16, 2010

JEERS to the large sinkhole of weapons, treasure and lives (not essentially in that order).  The spin docs within the Obama administration have spun their “eagerly-awaited” evaluate of the Afghanistan Warfare, which turns 10 subsequent yr.  The constructive abstract: we win some, we lose some, it is laborious work, we are able to begin a drawdown in July however we’ve to remain there in a fight capability a minimum of by 2014, and the pallets of American taxpayer money—stacked in two-ton bundles and topped with a shiny crimson bow—will proceed being flown into Kabul airport and changed with American coffins being flown out, and we do not know why we’re there.  The unfavorable abstract: the entire above plus each different phrase insert the phrase “fucking.”

And only one extra…

CHEERS to the Fabulous Ludwig B.  Once I was 10 (circa 1974), me and a busload of fifth grade classmates went to see the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra.  It was the primary time I might ever heard classical music performed by a stay orchestra. When the opening notes of Beethoven’s sixth ‘Pastoral’ symphony began enjoying, it was love at first downbeat and I have been waving my lighter and throwing my underwear on the stage at concert events ever since.  At this time the world is celebrating Beethoven’s 250th birthday. For the event, through the sensible Herbert von Karajan and the Berlin Philharminoker, Ludwig acquired us a gift: goosebumps…

No want for presents. Ludwig doesn’t actually have a good time birthdays anymore. He’ll simply spend the day quietly decomposing.

Have a cheerful humpday. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about as we speak?

At this time’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

“I am fantastic with my spite, and my tears and my beers and my Cheers and Jeers

Taylor Swift

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