We have a variety of relationships with the various people in their lives. There are family, friends, co-workers, the people at church, the people at the function and many more. Yet with each of these people you probably have a different front. Maybe you have the same front with all your friends, but what type of friend are you?
Are you an enabler?
You have a friend that has self destructive behavior. It may not be something as destructive as drugs or alcohol, but it is still not good. Perhaps the friend is a compulsive gambler or spender, and when they can not pay bills, you help. Yet that allows them to spend money on their bad hobby. A variation could be encouraging someone who insults and degrades themselves.
Are you a dodger?
There are people who claim they will do something, yet never do. Claiming you will help someone then finding or saying you have something else to do, is not being a good friend. Yes, things come up, but if you are regularly finding something else, then you need to look at why. Be honest, even if that means saying good bye to a friend because you do not like spending time with them.
Are you a whiner?
The latest action movie is what your friends want to see, you complain that movie has too much violence. Your friends want to go out for Mexican, you whine that Mexican gives you heartburn. Perhaps your friends decide to agree to your demands, perhaps they ignore them. Chances are if you are always complaining, they notice. They may even be debating dumping you from group activities. Try to agree. If Mexican food really upsets your stomach, offer alternatives, or tell them you will watch the other movie and meet them after.
How can you change?
It is not easy to change who you are, yet it can be done. Watch when you are not doing things to make your relationship, and yourself better. If you are consistently falling into a bad pattern with just one friend, maybe you need to change your relationship. However if you realize you are not being a good friend with all your friends, then make changes.
What should you do?
When you start to complain, stop. When you make a promise to friends follow through or just do not say you are going to do something. You can always not say anything, and show up or help when no one expects it. Your friendships will grow when you allow yourself to be happy in the moment. You can change the world just by changing yourself.